New-World Mentoring: A Reciprocal Relationship

Mentoring relationships start early in life as trusted teachers, coaches or family members offer dependable, guiding voices. These influences help shape children into their adult selves. 

This need for support during growth and development continues once graduates enter the workforce. Today, 71% of Fortune 500 companies have mentoring programs; research shows these relationships benefit mentors, mentees and the organization alike.

Workplace mentoring can lead to:

• Better pay: Case studies show at least 25% of employees—participating as either a mentor or mentee—had a salary grade change.

• Career advancement: Mentees get promotions five times more often than those without mentors—and mentors are six times more likely to advance.

• Improved retention: Millennial-age employees who have a mentor are twice as likely to stay with their organization for more than five years.

The power of these mutually beneficial mentoring relationships depends on its dynamic. According to Ann Lazarus-Barnes, Chief People Officer at Lionbridge, it’s all about reciprocity. 

“Back in the day, mentoring was viewed as a lowly employee going to a much higher-ranking person who is going to impart some wisdom to them,” Lazarus-Barnes said in a recent webinar for Women in Localization. She focused on the value of reciprocal mentoring in the workplace versus the “one-way oriented” style of the past.

Instead, the value of workplace mentoring is based on a transfer of learning in both directions between the mentor and the mentee—an interdependence Lazarus-Barnes describes as new-world mentoring.

What Is New-World Mentoring?

Today, an effective mentoring relationship is about collaborative growth for both people involved, whether you’re formally the mentor or the mentee. This two-way street nurtures professional skills as well as personal development. Ideally, this cycles through a feedback loop of increasingly better performance.

Research backs this effect up: 

• 87% of mentors and mentees feel empowered by their relationship, developing greater confidence in their work.

• CEOs say they’re more efficient in their roles and better at making decisions thanks to their mentoring relationship.

• Along with better career progression, mentees report improved work-life balance, networking and time-management skills.

Lazarus-Barnes says that there are four tenets to making this relationship thrive: a common quest, mutual trust, reciprocal value and a focused plan.

A Common Quest

According to Lazarus-Barnes, relationships often fail because both parties expect mentoring “to simply commence,” without identifying goals and values. She suggests a few inquiries to guide your relationship:

• What brought you here?

• What keeps you at the organization?

• What do you care about deeply? 

• In what ways do you need help?

Defining these goals establishes your common quest, and your responses can be anything that drives you to your best. 

Lazarus-Barnes noted that early in her career, she needed help reading financial reports and valued learning how to balance work with family. She sought out a mentor who could advise on both objectives, and together they’ve reframed this common quest throughout their 15-year relationship. 

Mutual Trust

“Trust is defined differently by each person,” Lazarus-Barnes says. “One of the things you want to do when you enter a mentoring relationship is to define trust together.” 

For many people, this includes a basic covenant of confidence. But mutual trust relies on each person’s ability to give and receive uncensored feedback as well, no matter how uncomfortable it is. 

“You’re telling the truth to each other, not telling somebody what they want to hear,” Lazarus-Barnes explains. 

Mentors and mentees should also discuss a protocol for an unintentional breach of trust to avoid a breakdown in a budding relationship. 

Reciprocal Value

“Successful mentoring relationships are [....] a commitment to long-term development for both parties.”

Common pitfalls to mentoring relationships usually revolve around a misunderstanding of the two-way reciprocity that makes new-world mentoring relationships succeed. 

These pitfalls include:

• An expectation of instantaneous gratification 

• Offering support only when it’s convenient or easy

• An imbalance of give-and-take

• Poor awareness of what the other individual values or what makes them uncomfortable

Lazarus-Barnes noted that successful mentoring relationships aren’t about a quick fix but rather a commitment to long-term development for both parties. Good mentors are aware of what makes an individual feel valued—or devalued—while being open to what a mentee can give back.

Mentees can bring a relationship instrumental value through:

• Having different perspectives based on age, gender, race or lifestyle

• Acting as a sounding board

• Offering feedback on company memos or social media activity

“We all have something to give,” Lazarus-Barnes says, whether that’s an opinion, perspective, reaction to something—or even just great listening skills. 

A Focused Plan

Establishing a mentoring plan summarizes what your commitments and priorities are to each other. This focused plan will articulate three or four specific goals. 

As a mentee, this involves taking an honest look at your strengths and weaknesses and identifying where you want to make improvements. Without these set expectations, a relationship can fizzle out. 

For example, Lazarus-Barnes recounts an experience helping a colleague with his communication skills.

“When we sat down and talked, he didn’t think there was any issue,” Lazarus-Barnes explains. She realized that without his desire to develop, there was nothing she could do. 

“A focused plan also allows for revision,” Lazarus-Barnes says. Our priorities change, and so a long-term mentoring relationship revisits goals and expectations to ensure both parties are getting the most benefit. 

How to Find a Mentor

“Really good mentors are a little stingy with their time because they know the commitment that it takes to be a mentor.”

One of the old-school mentoring myths Lazarus-Barnes discusses is the idea of sameness—that relationships are struck based on things the mentor and mentee have in common. In contrast, New World Mentoring relies on the ability to connect across differences. 

In your search for a mentor, Lazarus-Barnes suggests you:

• Define what skills you want to develop.

• Consider what different perspectives can add value to these goals.

• Make a list of what you can provide to a reciprocal relationship.

Then don’t be afraid to be proactive and reach out to someone. 

“Some of my best mentors have been much more informal,” Lazarus-Barnes says. “They were not part of a program. I just went and started asking questions.”

When approaching a potential mentor—Lazarus-Barnes recommends in-person where possible, but over video call when necessary—explain what you are looking for, what you can offer reciprocally, and why you chose this person. 

“I think whenever anybody is asked to do something, they like to hear, ‘why me?’” Lazarus-Barnes says. “If you saw them doing something that you would like to replicate, if they’re well-known in their field, these are really good things to point out to a potential mentor.” 

You should also articulate a clear time commitment a mentor should expect, like meeting once weekly for six months. But don’t get hung up on a mentor who isn’t able to commit. 

“Really good mentors are a little stingy with their time because they know the commitment that it takes to be a mentor,” Lazarus-Barnes explains. “Don’t take it personally. They may be over-extended and realize they’re going to short shrift you if they take you on as a mentee.” 

Building a successful mentoring relationship in this new-world style can catapult you through your career, whether you’re the mentor or the mentee. 

For more insights, tips and best practices of new-world mentoring, check out Lazarus-Barnes’ full webinar here.